Wednesday, March 31, 2004
WHAT SWEET SORROW

i received an email from man-boy yesterday. waah, didn't know he's capable of writing such sweet words! *blush*... and rouge doesn't blush easy (hey, isn't that an oxymoron?). that man - sometimes he surprises me so.

i know he's planning something for me but that'll happen only if he can come back in time for my big day. we've celebrated our birthdays together for the past 9 years, and this year, there might a probability that he won't be around for mine. i'm already feeling disappointed, but there's noone to blame for this. a job's a job.

my work conducted a free health screening yesterday. guess what i found out?

- i'm underweight (like THAT'S new)
- my blood pressure is low (hence the occasional giddiness. this is due to my being underweight)
- i need to put on at least 2 more kg to be considered 'normal' (which i've been trying to do for the past year - without any success)

what am i going to do... all the ayams and the steaks and the potatoes in the world are not going to help me out of this predicament.

i was also referred to changi hospital for a gastroscope (where they insert a camera from your mouth into your stomach) next week. yay. i'm just dying with *joy* and *happiness* at the prospect of being gagged by an alien instrument. what a way to celebrate my birthday, aye? gag or not, i have to do this cos of my month-long stomach flu. have to put a stop to running the loo in the middle of lessons, and also screaming "shit! shit!" in a toilet cubicle when everyone else is singing 'majulah singapura' at the assembly ground.

but i'm sure scared as hell. both at being 'gastroscoped' AND finding out that i have stress-induced stomach ulcer. :(


:: rouge @ 1:11 pm :: ::


Sunday, March 28, 2004
FOR THE CURIOUS

this list is only for a *specific* group of people (you know who you are). ;D

- strappy white heels from far east. in various colours too, cos i now they're cheap. hee!
- skII mask!!
- a multi-purpose bag for work and outside (think project shop)
- a new citrusy perfume (none of that makcik bunga smell)
- any funky tops (i trust your taste)
- lip gloss (bobbi brown maybe?)
- a hair job (i need a new colour pronto)
- some fab magazine subscription (something i'll READ)
- aussino bedspread (can use for coming raya)

cukup ke tak cukup?? tak cukup bilang eh... :)


:: rouge @ 11:27 pm :: ::



HAPPY, SHINY PEOPLE

i was supposed to treat my family to dinner today, maklomlah "ehem-ehem"... pikir punya pikir, tapi tak boleh decide nak pegi mana. suddenly, my dad cakap dia nak makan pizza, so we ordered pizza hut home delivery. kental kan? baik-baik nak pegi restaurant yang best-best, last-last duduk rumah makan pizza. takpelah, asalkan dorang happy! :)


the sumptious spread


my favourite ~ AYAM


my brother and baby sis stuffing their faces!


my kucing pun tumpang sekaki

the other reason i'm happy: man-boy called from vietnam today! he promised to go online and chat with me later. i'm can't stop grinning like a kerang busuk.

yesterday i went to the bridal expo with some other brides-to-be and oreng-oreng lain yang beriya-iya naaah nak buat research (for our wedding business-in-the-making. well, no harm dreaming about it.). had to settle some minute details like the gubahan hantaran... found 3 companies that i like, but i'm stilll deciding on which one to take. and i'm AMAZED by all the new companies that are mushrooming in the bridal industry!! such creativity in the midst of competition... impressive indeed. looks like *i* should start cracking on my grandiose bridal ideas. hehe.

i didn't bring mr sony along, cos i know i'd be running all over the place like an excited child. thankfully hana brought hers. click here for picts!


:: rouge @ 9:15 pm :: ::


Saturday, March 27, 2004
FOR MR INCOMMUNICADO

"dear baby,

it's been a week since you've left for vietnam. and i have officially reached the limit of my pain threshold. after this, whatever emotional stability that i possess, will start to head downhill. but having been there, done that; i'm just here to enjoy the ride.

i'm dying to talk to you about sooo many things. for one, i want you to know that i *finally* got that friggin' promotion. i want to see that beaming face; that genuine happiness for me. :) you know i've been working my ass off all these years, and you've watched me shrivel into the kudut-kedengkik queen i am now. you've noticed and often commented on how my health has deteriorated, especially of late. well, now it's paid off. and i just can't wipe away this smug (albeit appreciative) smile on my face. the recognition was important. cos in this job, if your hardwork goes unnoticed and unrewarded, your heart will slowly, but surely, be gnawed by bitter disillusionment. and i tell you, there wasn't much of this healthy heart left just before the p announced to me the good news.

i'm not saying that i will stay put in this career until i'm sagging to my shoes, but i think i will stay put for now. at least till the end of the year. i feel that it's a shame to leave now when i have been bestowed with bigger responsibilities on my shoulders. and i do intend to carry out this last stretch of battle to the best of my ability. after all, i think God would want me to enjoy the extra rezeki He's given me at least for a little bit. :)

i wish you're here to share my happiness. i wish that you'd come back in time for my birthday too. cos if you don't, well, things are definitely going to suck BIG-TIME around here.

and i definitely miss you.

love, me."


:: rouge @ 12:40 am :: ::


Thursday, March 25, 2004
FAKE MESSIAHS AND FULLER POCKETS

why is it some people are so free as to go around tagging people pieces of judgemental garbage? and use nicks like THE TRUTH? like he/she's the holy grail of humankind or something.

don't ever assume things about me. what you see here is only a tiny fraction of my life. there's a bigger piece out there that you are completely clueless about. and don't ever effin' judge me on my attire. it's not indicative or my iman or my ibadah or my character as a whole. don't try to be holier-than-thou with me, because i *don't* think you're THAT perfect yourself. i have ferring friends, and i love my ferring friends. but putting on the tudung *does not* automatically make one a better/greater person. the inside counts too. and it certainly doesn't give you the license to be bloody condescending. i'll have you know that i am planning to cover up in the future, but that decision lies between me and God. it's none of your business, you wannabe-preacher.

you said that my being 'harassed' was a direct result of me not covering up. then what about my tudung colleagues who received the same treatment from these students? what's your freaking theory now?

tolonglah, janganlah suka sangat jaga tepi kain orang. kalau dah perasan alim tu, apasallah pe'el tu nak mengaibkan orang aje? hah, pegilah buat ibadah banyak-banyak... kan lebih afdal. orang alim mana boleh mulut laser....

lagipun, saya ni kan cikgu. mestilah saya ada kepala otak untuk memikirkan cara pemakaian saya di kerja. who in the right mind would put on a 'come-hither' attire at work? hey, tak pernahlah kita pakai baju sampai terjojol-jojol semua kat sekolah. pakai baju kurung lagi ada! at work, i dress professionally and appropriately. but what i do or how i dress after work is really none of anyone's business, especially anonymous bloggers. i maintain that i have always been a pretty decent individual, with morals to boot. it's people who go around leaving condescending, STEP ALIM hate-tags are the ones whom i really think should take a good look at themselves and think about how "perfect" they really are.

enough raving and ranting for now. it's time for more pleasant news.

i got promoted today!! i'm so happy. cos it's well-deserved (at least my colleagues think so) and the timing is perfect! :) now my void-deck wedding of the year fund can actually *sniff* its desired target. some people are sooo getting free food. heh.


:: rouge @ 6:47 pm :: ::


Tuesday, March 23, 2004
TERRIBLE TUESDAY

i'm soooooo tired. really exhausted (but still can blog eh? :p). have been skipping meals like nobody's business. NOT good.

just got my pb - "hurrah". but i can't even touch a single cent. everything's going into the void-deck wedding of the year fund. now what good is a bonus if one can't enjoy it? blimey.

on a more positive note, the work keeps the mind off the fiance. who's enjoying himself right now, shopping for fridge magnets and whatnots.

oh did i tell you i slapped a 14 year old pervert in the eyes yesterday cos he was purposely, shamelessly, and disrespectfully *ogling* at something he shouldn't be fixing his beady eyes on? right now i don't even care if his parents sue me. why don't you use that extra energy to teach your son some manners?... gawd, i am *SO* sick of being treated with blatant disrespect by these prepubescent sickos.

i need my chocolate truffle. screw them blueballs.


:: rouge @ 10:12 pm :: ::


Sunday, March 21, 2004
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!

i finally sent him off to vietnam.

click for full story.

and now i've armed myself with mint chocolates, chocolate eclairs, chocolate truffle cake and chocolate mousse. in case the depression sets in, you know?


:: rouge @ 5:41 pm :: ::


Saturday, March 20, 2004
BUSY DAY

man-boy is going off to thailand and vietnam tomorrow, so my saturday today is burnt keeping him company. no more outing with other chicks, no marking, no alone time. he *insists* that my attention today should be 100% 'dedicated' to him. since i won't be seeing/hearing from him for the next 3 weeks, i have absolutely no problem with that. :)

earlier on, we managed to settle our mak andam matters for the actual day and the studio/outdoor shoots, and i CANNOT believe how much i'm spending on outfits and makeup!! but the outfits i saw just now were nothing short of great, and with new outfits coming up for the march expo, i'm pret-ty sure my money will be well-spent. but there is one thing i have totally not planned for: i'll be looking more vo-gee-yoo than what i had originally planned. i wanted to be a minimalist bride. but plans change, right? i guess looking glamourous doesn't hurt...?

i might even ditch my plan to wear the "quintessential" white gown for the cake-cutting ceremony. i have my eye on a much more *interesting* outfit.


:: rouge @ 7:45 pm :: ::


Friday, March 19, 2004
5 MONKEYS AND A BIRTHDAY GIRL

last evening was spent with the usual suspects (told you i'm on a "chicks only" spree). the initial plan to mencekik at hyatt turned into a finger-licking affair at 3 monkeys. dilsbedils (aka rouge's youngest sister) turned 11 yesterday and was made to tag along the minah-minah tua kerepot for a surprise birthday celebration. she was wined and dined (with fish and chips & ice water) and was even 'smuggled' into hard rock cafe for dessert! hee. the little one was apprehensive at first (she's wise for her age you see. she knows hrc = "disco-disco!") but we assured her that before 10 pm, the place is safe for 11-year-olds. :)

i'd like to think that i'd just presented her with her first taste of womanhood. she's a 30-year-old woman trapped in an 11-year-old body anyway. click below eh?




:: rouge @ 8:01 pm :: ::


Thursday, March 18, 2004
CAFE SAMAR: THE SEQUEL



had a pow-wow with the girlfriends yesterday (part 1 of rendezvous with the chicks). got down to discussing my wedding itinerary and bridesmaid stuff. i *think* my martha stewarthy ideas might just materialise!

and here's a shout out to my lil baby sis: HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY DILSBEDILS! puberty's but a kacang's throw away. :)


:: rouge @ 11:11 am :: ::


Wednesday, March 17, 2004
CLICKETY-CLACK

click me

this was taken after our ikan pari studio session. my photographer *loved* my mr sony. i thought he was quirky, but to make snorting, donkey-like noises during the shoot to make us laugh? aaahh... priceless. the session was thoroughly enjoyable and silly all around (i'd never seen man-boy smile/laugh so much), that to me it felt more like a 'main-main' than a serious session of austere poses. the picts might reflect a proper-looking bunch, but the behind-the-scenes was a far more different story. looks like we have to wait a while for the picts to turn out, yah?

tonight: first round of rendezvous with the babes. can't wait!!


:: rouge @ 11:22 am :: ::


Tuesday, March 16, 2004
IKAN PARI REVISITED

man-boy's trip to vietnam has been postponed until this saturday... damn. just when i thought the mouse can finally come out and play! heheh. takdelah... i sukaaaaaa sekali you tak jadi pegi nari. boleh loving-loving each other longer, kan kan kan, jonet kan? :)

so earlier today man-boy managed to schedule an appointment to take our studio graduation pictures. yes, *our* graduation pictures. well, he graduated only last september. i had mine in september too ~ sept 1999!! sekarang baru nak amik seh... what to do, i was too broke then to spend 700-800 on snapshots of myself wearing that darn mortar board... so now, here i am, five (way overdue) years later, all ready to pose and grin in my ikan pari gown with the love of my life. yes, i kept my ugly gown. AND the mortar board. somebody just shoot me.

must go iron now. i don't even think it fits me anymore. but hey, it may come in handy if i were to get pregnant later yah? *grins a la kambing sumbing*


:: rouge @ 4:01 pm :: ::


Monday, March 15, 2004
CAKKK!!!!



hehe. i'm bored. (rare on a monday...) so i thought i'd give myself a facial. the works ~ oatmeal scrub, clay mask, vitamin c serum, honey moisturiser. and of course, some oxy to zap away those nasty pimples!! urgh. they're *still* around. popping is in order.

haven't been pampering my face for quite some time now. the lines are showing... and i simply cannot swallow the fact that i'm in the 25 - 30 age bracket now. why, i don't look a day above 18! (beranganlah lu...)

looking at that tepong komak face, i've just come to realise what people meant by my "belolok eyes". i can play the next ju'on movie, doncha think? :p

meeting my man-boy later (hence the need to look my best) for the last time before he jets off for vietnam tomorrow - *sob* - but i've made those calls. this week is going to be busy, busy, beezaayyy with the babes!


:: rouge @ 2:20 pm :: ::


Sunday, March 14, 2004
DECISIONS, DECISIONS...

met up with my decor people yesterday. they are so the very kecorable! as "those in the know" would know, 2 bridal expos are coming up soon (late march and early april), so my decor people are busy preparing for them. i was even "let in" (cos it's supposed to be a secret, you see) on their newest concept and colour scheme, which turned out to be, *gasp!* MY colour of choice! i also had a preview of the future projects, waaahhh... semua drool-worthy. the new flower arrangements, etc. semua memang matching dengan apa yang dah sedia ada dalam kepala hotak saya ni. :)

and so i finally chose the pelamins for the void-deck and home. however, this is only tentative, in case this fickle mind decides on newer, better designs later in april. biasalah kan, pengantin. kalau tak cerewet, tak sah!

my wedding is exactly 4 months away, but the butterflies, moths and elephants are already running amok in my flu-stricken tummy. hehe. excitednya tak terhingga. ni belum pilih baju lagi...! :D


:: rouge @ 1:29 pm :: ::


Saturday, March 13, 2004
AND I'M NOT EVEN PMS-EY

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 5 painful, pussing pimples on my right cheek. (and none on my left!) what's happening dey??? euwww... i'm a breeding ground for odious bacteria and other vile micro-organisms!! even my powerful mac concealer can't salvage the situation. korang jaga... korang dah masak ranum je, i'm gonna picit-picit you punats to death!!!!


:: rouge @ 10:31 am :: ::


Friday, March 12, 2004
R & R: RESTORE AND REVIVE

today's the last day of school, but it doesn't mean that my world can finally stand still. i still have to come to work everyday next week. even tomorrow. fyi, i'm going for a check-up soon, to see whether i have developed a stomach ulcer (the stomach flu just won't go away).

man-boy won't marry me if i don't. :P

it's not like i'm praying for one - i'm actually terrified at the prospect of being rodok with the gastroscope - but if i were to quit on the grounds of stress-induced stomach ulcer, i don't think the p (p for pantat) would have any justifiable reason to bitch about me after my resignation.

i'm *dying* to meet up with my girlfriends. ALL the different girlfriends ~ the secondary school clique, the ex-colleagues, the current colleagues (only the "kay-siao" ones of course), the clubbing kakis, the coffee kakis, the bloggals (hehe)... i want to unwind, and feel like a glamourous female once again; not some angry, substitute mother figure who's on the verge of losing her steam. and sanity.

i need mindless conversations about men and clothes; i need to dance my worries away; i need a revival of my soul. i didn't use to be so bitter, neurotic and pessimistic about life (don't forget vulgar), but somehow, i'm a different person now. i'm suddenly angry. always angry. things have *got* to change around here.

i'm going to start making some important calls. you better pick up that call, girls!!


:: rouge @ 4:19 pm :: ::


Wednesday, March 10, 2004
NOT CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL

a colleague of mine broke down like nobody's business in the staffroom today. it was like all the dams were suddenly open. she was previously a lawyer before she joined teaching. "it's funny," according to her. "i can handle huge cases and criminals before this but i can't handle a class of kids." this is no ordinary class, i tell you. this is *the* NERAKA JAHANAM class. i got them when they were in sec 1 and 2. now they're in sec 4, but they've grown even worse over the years. my poor colleague is their form teacher this time round. i've had a taste of them, so i totally understood her angst. when i was teaching them the previous years, not a single day went by without me feeling like bawling my eyes out during lessons. this class is CHUMPION in everything - gangs, vulgarities, class/school fights, defiance, wilful absenteeism, improper attire, coloured bras, underaged intercourse, smoking, drinking, laziness, tardiness, zero (zilch!!) motivation..... etc. you name it, they've got it.

in short, my colleague blames herself. she sees herself as a failure for not being able to change the kids. she feels that there is nothing else that she can do to save them. she doesn't understand why the kids couldn't see that she cares for them. she's all hopeless.

well, that's how *i* feel most of the time.

we got to more talking, along with other colleagues over coffee (mainly to cheer the ex-lawyer up), but ended up feeding one another with more classroom warfare stories. eventually everyone ended up feeling jaded and abused, and wondered why we're in this profession. we realised that we're so disillusioned with this career that we're ready to pack up and leave tomorrow. the thing is, my "tomorrow" will only come this june. that's when i call it quits. my soul is already too battered at this point of time.

teaching is no doubt a noble profession, but it is also thankless and soul-butchery. to m.o.e, we are simply overpaid, dispensable babus. i don't think they are ever going to look out for our welfare, period. those farts actually think that money can buy loyalty. what an unbelievable crock of bullshit.


:: rouge @ 8:17 pm :: ::


Tuesday, March 09, 2004
ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND

interesting day today...

cheeky student: cher, if i tell u something, are you going to get angry with me?
teacher: if it's something that's going to make me angry, then of course i'll get angry.
cheeky student: you must promise not to get angry first. it's something i've been dying to tell you. *flashes cheeky grin* (she just knows he's going to discuss THE BUTT)
teacher: let me see. is it something you can say in front of my fiance and parents?
cheeky student: oh like dat cannot ah cher!! i mati ah like dat!
teacher: so i think it's best you shut up, don't you think so? *bats eyelids*
cheeky student: i think so oso. hee hee.
teacher: *rolls eyes and feels numb*

and later in the day, the teacher was pleasantly surprised with a doggy style from a 13-year-old. the one she's been *anticipating* all along.

life's a box of horny, clueless, prepubescent boys. tu kencing pegi kasi straight dulu.


:: rouge @ 12:17 am :: ::


Monday, March 08, 2004
DISCLAIMER

me? a dumbass? a dumbass *teacher* at that? dumbasses can become teachers meh? kau ni besar punya oxyMORON. tau tak oxymoron tu apeeeee? :)

:: rouge @ 1:58 pm :: ::


Sunday, March 07, 2004
ULTIMATUM SCHMALTIMATUM

so people. welcome, welcome, welcome. :)

i thank you for taking the trouble to change my blog address. yup, i'm now a junkie. it's true. if you were to see my dressing table, you'd be able to detect beauty products from every consumer brand imaginable. well, i'm no elitist, so the bulk of the products would come from our friendly (read:cheap) neighbourhood pharmacies. maybe i should quit my day job and work as a product tester for cleo/her world. my dresser is certified enough.

which reminds me: my makeup-cum-beauty tips needs a second instalment. hmmm. what shall it be on next? sunscreen? mascara? let me rummage through my hoard of oh-so-superficial-but-friggin'-necessary-esteem-boosting items first.

i have one more favour to ask from you though. when you change my blog address, can you also change your link to rouge? please do not use my old name anymore yah? the paranoia is eating me alive. i do not want students to google my name and get access to my love life. i'm famous enough at work as it is. :p

so remember.

ROUGE.
ROUGE.
ROUGE.

it's way sexay-er anyways.


:: rouge @ 12:22 pm :: ::


Friday, March 05, 2004
BLOG: PART II

this will be my new breathing space. minus the students.

and call me rouge.

;)


:: rouge @ 8:24 pm :: ::