Tuesday, April 27, 2004
OFF TO THE COUTURIERE

tomorrow i'm making my baju nikah ~ WOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

which reminds me. must use the right bra. kwa kwa kwa.

:: rouge @ 11:07 pm :: ::


Monday, April 26, 2004
DISCOVERY CHANNEL

wow, i disappeared for a while and new bloggers mushroomed everywhere! for one, there's selenge-bacin-diah-spear's adik cum nurul-the-wacko-jacko-minus-the-balls' babiek, ian. welcome bro! i want to see whether your otak is as senteng as the two sotongs. don't disappoint me ok! :p

and some bloggers become suddenly blogless too. i'm sure they have their reasons. maybe i'll join them someday. when, not sure... the calling's not there yet.

i applied for two jobs just now. mintak-mintak rezeki murah babes. *winks at ry*

learnt 2 things today:

1) being really, really upset with a class can actually induce vomitting and instant diarrhoea.

2) a person can actually fart while performing a standing broad jump test. the gas helps in the propulsion, i think. god it was hilarious.

just 2 more months to go. i can do it. and i need to karaoke after the exams. ayu, amacam, game?


:: rouge @ 11:41 pm :: ::


Saturday, April 24, 2004
I WILL RANT

i'm a certified no-life.

haven't been out. haven't been dating. haven't been blogging. haven't been tagging.

haven't been sleeping. haven't been calling friends. haven't been hugged.

haven't been watching tv. haven't been reading papers. haven't a clue about the world.

i feel drained. i feel exhausted to my bones. all i want to do once i reach home is sleep. sleep until i wake up in a feverish jolt. then the vicious cycle starts again.

160 faces a day. blood pressure always nearing boiling point. endless and endless stacks to clear. millions of deadlines to meet. one body but always needed in three places at one time. certain uncivilised screaming fuckers to tolerate (and i ain't talking about students). one effing unbearable towkay. four precious kilogrammes; lost and never coming back. increasingly problematic tummy. clocking 12 hours daily; one break in between for most days. STILL having to work at home.

and i'm supposed to teach kids about life?

this is *NOT* how i imagined my life to be: consumed by work.

this saturday's recruit better show me something. that transfer to hq is taking too bloody long. eh, what am i talking about? today *is* saturday lah, you toad. see what i mean? i don't know what's going on anymore.

i. need. oxygen.

shit. this entry is so depressing.


:: rouge @ 8:58 pm :: ::


Monday, April 19, 2004
KINDRED THOUGHTS

i read one of [D]-ann's entries that day and squirmed in my seat. why? cos her words JUMPED at me. every word, every nuance, echoed my *own* latent sentiments. she had communicated what i've always wanted to say but somehow never did manage to articulate. thanks for the permission to post your entry here, yah? i find you truly insightful. ;)

"sometimes wonder why i do the things i do, said say things i've said, and feel the way i feel. or to put it more accurately, hardly feeling anything but fatigue, and my actions aren't the best representative of a good person, yet i feel no remorse for it afterwards. perhaps have changed too much too quickly. perhaps it's work. perhaps have moved on at too fast a rate. had been short-fused over the most minor of issues that in the past would not have mattered. had become less tolerant of silly actions, of mundane topics. feel now that it's a sign of a lack of diligence and a severe need to be conscientious. have lost the ability to empathise with individuals who are stuck in the middle of nowhere waiting for the clearance to move forward. maybe it's the attitude that has put me off, or at least my perception of what to me is lackadaisical attitude. have said and expressed little lately. have enjoyed my own company very much, and even my companions are those who have no qualms enjoying comfortable silence. hence it greatly annoys me when someone starts talking about things that i now deem to be completely unconstructive, although in the past i never had a problem with it.

the problem is that i don't give a shit about changing that. somehow feel that after so many years of being footloose and fancy-free as a person of no responsibilities, now that i'm doing something and focusing on the here and now, i no longer condone mundane silliness. my way of lightening up is to chill out on my own, or with a friend who doesn't mind companionable silence. it's at this stage I feel that the best people to have around are those who do have many things in common with myself. have forgotten many things. have forgotten how to write. have forgotten human interaction. yet have also remembered many things that were forgotten. have remembered who i used to be. have remembered what it felt like to have faith in people. have remembered patience, and empathy."

ditto to that.


:: rouge @ 4:40 pm :: ::


Saturday, April 17, 2004
BEEZAY

been very, VERY busy. it's been one whole week of coming back at night. and it's going continue next week too. blardy job.

no time to bloghop. no time to tag. sorry peeps, i really do miss your stories. will be back soon. promise.

:: rouge @ 8:43 am :: ::


Wednesday, April 14, 2004
FEELING KAHWIN-KAHWIN

last sunday, i attended my marriage prep course with man-boy. bumped into a number of familiar people, but i recognised ros and mede straightaway! ros is such a giggly person, i just *had* to giggle along whenever she did. so infectious that woman. hehe. too bad she and mede (shacz) have stopped blogging altogether. but maybe privacy at this point of time is good yah? no need to deal with those irritating blogpests who have nothing better to do but bombard people's blogs with their paltry comments.

ros and i were in the same group for the various activities. i *think* we were among the noisiest too (no surprise there. hee!). but we had fun, especially the part where we had the chance to list down all the 'notorious' male attributes (kutuk time!). it's no fun if one doesn't participate in the discussions. my group was like feminist central. but we admit we love our men. :)

one part got me all choked up. that part about "menjadi seorang isteri yang akan mencium bau syurga". apparently got 4 steps to it! but not easy lah... ni tengah train myself ni...

no. 1: look at your husband with love each time you see him and make him smile at the sight of you.

susah tu. muka musti atak sinyummmm silalu... huh. manyak susah leh... tapi musti bikin hor, nak masuk syuluga punya pasad... man-boy, you donch worry hor, i confirm will do it one!

the discussions also got me thinking about my long relationship with him. our relationship, like any normal one, is of course not without its fair share of trials and tribulations. i used to tell my girlfriends (in times of "world war 3"), "i know he can be a *toot* boyfriend at times but i really believe that he'd make a good husband". i really DID believe in that, you know, and somehow we managed to stick it through all those tumultuous years! well, it's all worth it now. our relationship is very strong now, and is at its prime i feel. man-boy has proven that he has the makings of a very good husband (it's amazing what a whole lotta love and patience can do!). i just hope that he feels the same way about me too. there is SO much that i want to do for him.

and yessss... we finally collected our studio graduation pictures! (nevermind that i graduated *five* years ago)...


i like the casualness in this one. we're all teeth!


me with samseng kampong dusun.


oh this one is very the RETRO. and someone is very the bulat. but i like bulat. :)


one with the family (his mom and pop).

:: photography by in'vogue studio ::


:: rouge @ 10:51 pm :: ::


Friday, April 09, 2004
GOOD EXCELLENT FRIDAY

friday was spent on a little island of tempation with another birthday gal and 2 "younger" ladies. there was picnic (i got a second dose of the unwanted tan), cake (gooey but goooood), booby gifts (literally booby) and endless mirth and hilarity. a later part of the day was spent indulging in a tai-taified activity somewhere in tiong bahru. this is one birthday i really enjoyed. i'm sure the other april baby seconds that. tenkiuk saya ucapkan kepada kedua-dua bayi disember. MACIH... :)


click on krusty and bozo

for "THE BIRTHDAY SONG" and our own "SUNGGUH HOT" videos, click here. select these two titles from the drop-down menu okay? and let it download/stream fully before you watch. jangan terkencet sudah.

post-party, i went to meet my matair who just came back from his 3-week trip. i got a "preview present" (the real one later, he said). hey b, the preview one is good enough what! what is it, you ask? secretlah... hehe. only for my belolok eyes. :)

yes, the reason for the lack of updating *is* because i've been spending time with man-boy. we had a lot to catch up! plus we had the marriage preparatory course to attend (met an ex-blogger, rosmuniza, and her fiance). small world. :) will talk about that in my next entry.


:: rouge @ 11:23 pm :: ::


Thursday, April 08, 2004
JENG JENG JENG





:: rouge @ 12:00 am :: ::


Tuesday, April 06, 2004
T-W-E-N-T-Y-S-E-V-E-N : RECAP

my baby finally called. we got cut off like a million times cos he's at sea, but hati ni terubat jugak... hehe. he misses me too, and is very worried about my check up tomorrow.

my students were *cute*. they surprised me with a cute birthday song after locking me out of the classroom. and i received cute little gifts from them. the OHP light shining on my face while the birthday song was being sung was cute too.

got a few surprise smses and calls from long-time friends whom i haven't heard from for ages (thanks nizam)! so touching that they actually remembered. suddenly i don't feel so 'alone' anymore.

at home there was peaches n strawberries cake. celebration with the family was simple but meaningful. alah, dah tua-tua gini tak payah nak celebrate with a big bang kan?

i'm desperately waiting for friday. matair nak balik OOOIII....


:: rouge @ 11:53 pm :: ::



T-W-E-N-T-Y-S-E-V-E-N

someone just became a year older. ME. hee hee.

i know i'm old, but i look young!! heh, muka tak tau malu... and life (beyond work) has been a blessing. :)

i *think* i have passed my quarter-life crisis, and am rather (erm...) looking forward to life in the thirties! now it's family time - hubby, baby, and more happiness!!

man-boy hasn't called me yet, but i'm still hoping. REALLY hope to see him this weekend. fuh, habis nanti dia kena kerenyam... heh heh. mish mish him so much.

this friday sounds promising too. guess what the "rouge" is cooking?? ok, pompuan-pompuan menjeng, kita paint sentosa PURPLE!!


:: rouge @ 9:49 am :: ::


Monday, April 05, 2004
A TREAT FOR THE SOLE

one of the WORST mondays ever. went shoe-shopping with G in the hope of instant self-gratification. it worked... somehow.



and thanks to G, i think i've just found my new calling. she's going to talk to 'some people', while *i* am going to work on the resume. if i'm lucky, i might be well on my way to filling up her 'old shoes'.

i hope they fit.

cos my desire to stay on and uphold the battlefront is proving to be futile. the more i think i can survive another day, the more i bleed inside.

here's to a new vocation. god knows i've tried.


:: rouge @ 9:36 pm :: ::


Saturday, April 03, 2004
THERE'S RACE AND THERE'S RACE FOR TIME

i was the official photographer for my school's sports day today (for all other events for that matter). in between snapping precious moments for the school magazine, sempat jugak aku melaram dengan mr sony. hee!

click

and now i have a tan. an unwanted tan.

later in the evening, i rushed like a mad woman to meet up with my dates, my 2 other mad giggly halves (thirds?). these two were with me through secondary school, college, uni, even nie. i practically grew up with them! but you know, life happens, and we no longer get to meet up as much. we used to travel *everywhere* together, in our cozy pack of three. we'd get in trouble together, and get ourselves out of trouble together. we could never get to places on our own without people asking, "eh where's the other two?" and the term '3 mad giggly girls' was given to us by our favourite art teacher in college. cos we were ALWAYS giggling. kekekekeke here; kekekekeke there! and of course we were mad. we did things like taking tiny 1cm steps along the school corridor while other people were busy with tutorials in class! i think our record time for walking the 1cm walk from one class to another was 20 full minutes. nevermind that people were looking. nevermind that they had that "those girls are sooo flunking their a levels" look on their faces. i think that art teacher of ours would faint of shock if she knows what we do for a living.

alas, we're all grown up now. they're both married (and *everyone* thought i'd be the first one to go!) and there's no more time to do the inane things we used to do. now it's husbands (fiance for me), houses, careers and babies (mayhaps). my god. we used to be 16, you know? now we're nearing 30. how time flies. we may be going through our own stuff right now, but we're essentially the same person inside. minus the mad giggling of course. maybe now we can have babies together.

anyways, we met up to celebrate our triple promotions (see? we even get promoted together!) and to catch up on old times. too bad, our thirty-ish bones were too tired for some hot tamale dancing that night. definitely next time.

click click

by the way, the passion of the c h r i s t was a painful movie to watch. i watched it for james caviezel (one helluva actor). 2 whole hours on the crucifixion itself. such gore and violence; i had to close my eyes at several junctures. i wonder if it's an apt interpretation by mr mel gibson. apparently it's not going down well with many people of the christian faith.


:: rouge @ 4:01 pm :: ::


Friday, April 02, 2004
YOU CAN TAKE THAT LENCI AND STUFF IT

i have a new h.o.d story.

another h.o.d, similarly untrained in the arts, tried to impress her audience during staff contact time today by talking about the artist leonardo da vinci.

except what came out from her mouth was more: "giordano buah lenci". *sumpah tak bedek* the other art teachers and i nearly turned blue in the face trying to stifle our laughter. mak ai, pey kelakar...

man-boy called and said his vietnam assignment has been dragged for another week. so it's confirmed lah. he's going to miss my birthday. and he won't be there to hold my hand during my wonderful gastroscope either. life's ne-vah been dandier.

so if you see a 'zombified' midget walking around aimlessly in town, carrying a krusty the clown balloon and singing birthday songs to herself next tuesday (*hint, nurul, HINT*), do not attempt human contact with her.


:: rouge @ 11:32 pm :: ::


Thursday, April 01, 2004
SINGA-POO-RA

mum asked me to apply for that job in radio. my sympathetic colleagues told me that i belong in tv-land, especially in kidscentral. they think i have the potential to do something big for the small ones out there. hmm. should i? especially when my fiance himself is ultra supportive of the idea of me snagging a new career. *rouge deep in contemplation*

i'm currently co in-charge of the play for my school's speech day. my best bud in school, G, and i hatched up a MOULIN ROUGE version of the sang nila utama story. the whole thing is so caesar palace and camp; it's damn hilarious! we even got our own william hung doing a cameo! we were having a great time experimenting until a bitch of a h.o.d had to spoil our efforts. a person with no artistic or theatre background whatsoever just *HAD* to insist on her *golden* ideas, you know? her ideas were so goddamn *golden*, i don't know which ERA they came from. and she had the audacity to threathen us that she'd scrap our item if we don't meet her "high expectations". omigod. who died and made her simon cowell??? kau nak scrap? kau berani, kau scrap ah! we'll be the ones having the last laugh when your whole speech day programme crumbles to dust. baru first time in-charge nak tunjuk terrar. rilek sua nyonya... lu cukor itu bulu ketiak lagi bagos... at least boleh buat itu prop ~ lu boleh tampal kat itu singa punya topeng. sekarang baru lu boleh claim itu drama ada lu punya 'touch'.


:: rouge @ 9:18 pm :: ::